How often do you wear your emotional body armor? Do you ever stop slaying your dragons or inner demons? Do you feel safe enough to take off your body armor in front of your spouse? Do you even know you’re wearing it?
I know I’m guiltier than most of wearing body armor, and not knowing when to take it off. I say that I want to let my guard down, but I find comfort in keeping people at an emotional distance so I don’t get hurt.
What is it that gets us to this point? I know I’ve made some real shitty choices in loving the wrong person. I look back and wonder what was it? Was it them? Was it me? Was it our combined emotional maturity level? That makes the most sense. For me, I’ve had some baggage in the form of an abusive relationship that was a mess, and I think that’s the main reason I wear my body armor.
When you first meet people you don’t want to seem desperate - like you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve. It’s the uncertainty of what the other person is really thinking or feeling, and what they have to give. After all, we do feed off what others give us and how they treat us. What can we do to ensure ourselves in the person we’re getting to know? Once you’ve found someone you want to spend time with, how easy does your body armor come off?
You don’t want to show that you have a ‘Sybil’ side. We all get angry, fearful , uncertain, and we have a side that really likes them. We’re afraid of showing too much, because we don’t want it to be a turn off. This hesitation comes from getting burned and no one wants to repeat the hurt, right?
WE ALL HAVE TO LET GO!
We have to grow from the pain that we came from and have faith that we are leading ourselves in the right direction. All our choices lead us down certain paths and bring us to a final destiny. Certain people have been brought into our lives to show us something about ourselves: what we want and what we don’t want. We learn what works for us and what doesn’t. We learn how to react in certain scenarios, better cope with those around us and we’re more equipped to venture down a path that works.
WE CAN’T BE AFRAID!
A dear friend said this to me years ago: you can’t dismantle your emotional armor until you spend time with someone that compliments you instead of complicates you. How are you supposed to find this person when you have losers around you? You have to trust that this has nothing to do with bank account, looks, or any of that other superficial nonsense. It’s about where you are and where your partner is. You’re never going to find the right person without trusting and trying.
BUT DON’T BE STUPID EITHER!
I mean if someone is having more troubles than you are in their life, there’s a lot of pressure on the relationship. You can’t help someone feel better about him or her self. You can only support them, but you can’t walk their path for them. You can’t change their mental outlook, so don’t hold yourself up from going down your correct path.
Those are my two cents...what are your thoughts and views on emotional body armor? How attached are you to yours? Can you let go?
Here’s to a life with Bacon and Head!
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